Friends 'TIll The End

Wednesdays are my favorite day besides Friday. Not only is it hump day, therefore bringing me closer to my favorite day of the week (cue Rebecca Black), but I have basketball on Wednesday nights. You might think I'm most excited to run around with a bunch of sweaty guys, but that's not my favorite part, surprisingly. It's post game fun that really makes me happy about this day. However, I was very pleased in the middle of the game when someone started yelling my name. What? That can't possibly be someone cheering on *me*. I ignored it, until I realized I was the only chick on the court. Aw crap, who was yelling at me for doing something wrong? I looked into the bleachers and lo and behold it was my bus stop friend! I met my bus stop friend at the bus stop and now we're friends and now my bus stop friend was at my game cheering me on. It was awesome!

Anyways, last night as I was pounding beer with my team, celebrating our win, I mentioned that I had signed up for summer softball. One of my teammates started teasingly giving me shit. "I thought we were best friends!" he said, "How could you sign up without us?!". "No, no, no" I responded, "I don't have friends, I'm sorry!" Everyone started laughing. "You have friends!!" they said, "You had friends at the damn game cheering for you!". I thought about that for a second, and realized they were right. I was so used to assuming I didn't have friends since I didn't know anyone when I moved here. But that had changed. I do have friends! I have basketball friends, I have drinking friends, I have work friends, I have IGI friends, I have gym friends, I have lunch friends, I have dinner friends, I have bus stop friends, I have Boylston street homeless friends. Dude, wow, so much has changed in a few months.

You see, when I first moved to Boston it wasn't quite the ideal situation. The  morning I moved into my apartment my boyfriend of the time decided to dump me (something about him being depressed and me being too happy psh). Let be honest (since this is my honest diary) it SUCKEDDDDD. I was blindsided, I didn't expect it, it was a stupid reason, and it straight up blew. Anyways, I moved my shit into my apartment that day and obviously called all of my closest friends.

One of my best friends that lives on the Jersey Shore (yup) invited me to visit. Nooo, I thought. I can't, I have so much to do, I start my new job on Monday, I still need to get "settled". She mentioned something about margaritas and the beach and I didn't have to think too much harder. Literally the next day I was on a train to Jersey. This was by far one of my most favorable, memorable weeks. I have never ever laughed, cried, beached, drank, ate, or made bad decisions as much as this awesome week. This chick literally nursed me back to myself.

(In college)

(On the shore)

The interesting thing is that it was very fitting. Morgan just happened to be visiting the Cape a few summers previously when I found out that my boyfriend of that time had been banging my "friend" all summer. He was also married, to a stripper, from Guam. It's cute if you think I'm kidding, because I'm not at all; not even exaggerating. And you think you have bad ex stories - HA!! Anyways, what did we do that night? Chugged vodka and hit up a random Cape house party. Perfection.

I felt refreshed when I returned to Boston and was ready to start my new "career". Ha, what a joke that was. I was a recruiter at an agency and it was literally terrible. Soon after, life started sucking again since I dreaded waking up and going to that awful job where I worked 12 hour days and hated my life. I became so caught up in this job, I didn't even go out much (gasp) and certainly never had the opportunity to meet anyone. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. Even more shocking than not going out is that I didn't even have the time to work out. This couldn't possibly last.

I remember one night in particular that my boss took me out. Side note - my boss from that job is seriously the most amazing, inspiring, funniest, greatest chick ever. I wish she still lived in Boston, but she's back in CHI. Anyways, she could tell something was up. After a few drinks, I tearfully explained how unhappy I was. How I came here to start a career, to have the best days of my life, to make all of these great awesome friends and have all of these great awesome times. But none of it was happening! Why?? Why!!

"Honey" she said, "This is the real world now. Nothing is going to just happen. You can't expect things to just happen. You have to make moves, you have to make things happen for yourself. You have to put yourself out there and not care."

On my way home that night, after a few drinks, I hit a car on 93. Yup. I fucking hit a car. With MY car. I figured my life was over and I was going to be arrested for a DUI. Luckily, the cops that showed up were young. I shoved about three pieces of gum into my mouth, put on my biggest smile and somehow, someway, I got myself out of it. I fucking drove home and my insurance never even called me. Seriously, nothing happened.

Soon after, I quit that job.

It was AWESOME - for about a week. And then I was lonely and depressed and felt as though my life had no direction. What was I doing in this city? How did this happen? Why was I not in Virginia with my best friends? How am I going to pay rent? I don't have insurance anymore?! ahhhhhhhh. There were several times that I wanted to throw my hands up, retreat to the Cape, crawl under my covers and just give up.

I didn't.

I applied to job after job after job. I got rejection after rejection after rejection.

One time, I literally had dialed my landlord in order to break my lease. I hung up after one ring. She called me back to see if everything was okay. I DON'T FUCKING KNOWWWWW I thought. I'm not one to give in, or give up, so I thought about the advice my boss had given me. It was time to start making moves.

I got a job offer that week. Thank. fucking. god. I accepted with open arms. After I had regained a little bit of my lost confidence, it became easier to really put myself out there. I was fucking friendly to everyone. People probably thought there was something wrong with me (there is). And as soon as I stopped just wishing and hoping for things to get better, and started accepting my situation, everything fell into place. Everything!...let me repeat - everything!!!

I am so happy now. I love Boston. I love the friends I have made. I love everything that brought me here, because without all the shit, I wouldn't really realize how lucky I am. I wouldn't appreciate my life as much as I do currently. I am sitting on my couch right now, sipping my wine, and smiling.

Moral of the story? You need to make your own moves. Everything happens for a reason, even the shitty stuff. If you don't like it, then fucking change it. Sometimes you just need to take a leap of faith and if it works out - great, if it doesn't - sucks, if you don't try - stupid.